dogecoin isn’t a meme anymore. seriously?

So, the world is trying to convince me that Dogecoin, yes the beloved meme coin that everyone jokingly hoarded like it was a collection of bottle caps, is going to become a legitimate utility currency by 2025. Seriously? Suddenly because Elon Musk might integrate it into every nook and cranny of Twitter for micro payments, we’re all supposed to sit up and salute it like it’s the second coming of Bitcoin. Like come on, hasn’t anyone watched a sci-fi dystopia movie where corporations control everything because we handed them the keys to the castle?

And please don’t tell me it’s all about some massive existing holder base ready to transact. Yeah, I’ll believe it when my grandma starts tipping in Dogecoin for her knitting patterns. Swap those memes for your groceries, they say. If this becomes reality, I swear I’d be sitting there wondering what kind of alternate universe I’ve stumbled into. Also, when did we start hanging on Musk’s every whim like he’s some genius oracle? Just because he sends a few space rockets up doesn’t mean every coin he touches turns into digital gold. See this if you’re as skeptical as me.

I feel like I’m in some financial episode of “Punked,” being told that our future transactions could ride on the back of a dog meme. If this isn’t proof enough that we’re living in a simulation, I don’t know what is. Whatever.